Mornings: A Lesson In Wasting Time

I am not a morning person. My boyfriend, Tomás on the other hand, is the absolute epitome of one.

He wakes up every morning (sometimes without an alarm) around 5:30 a.m. and heads into the kitchen for his staple breakfast: 3 eggs, Greek yogurt, and a cup of coffee. He is disciplined in more ways than one, but there is no sight more apparent of this than watching him roll over and up to greet the world through sleepy eyes, day after day after day.

I am not a morning person, but I am learning to be.

Like I mentioned in my last Instagram post, I recently landed a job as an Associate Editor. I have dreamt of acquiring a job like this for what feels like eons and somehow, it actually happened. Prior to this (and truthfully the whole beginning of this year) I was in an existential funk. To put it mildly, all I wanted to do was sleep. I was depressed.

Things seemed to turn around when I met an Editor of a lifestyle blog and was hired to act as a contributing writer. After leaving my teaching job on a whim, this was just what I needed. As you may have guessed, that also didn’t pan out. I found myself pouring my heart and soul into my writing, but it was always for someone else. I didn’t mind at first. That is until I actually sat down with my Editor and we both realized (she did before I did) that I guess I had “talent”? I guess I wanted to take on a more creative role? I guess I wanted to write all of the time? I guess. I guess. I guess.

I will never forget one of the last conversations we ever had. She asked me what I wanted and a laundry list of ideas came pouring out of me. I am the first to admit that I am a scatterbrained creator. There’s so much I want to share with the world that sometimes I end up sharing nothing.

After I finished telling her what I wanted: “Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to write a book.” “I would like to one day publish a collection of stories.” “My friend and I have discussed starting a podcast…”), I paused.

“But… I never have any follow through. I just don’t do it. I won’t.”

My ex-Editor then looked straight at me and said, “So, you’re wasting my time then. You’re wasting your time.”

I felt my face go hot as I pursed my lips and nodded sheepishly.

“Yes…” I could see where she was going with this.

She had me in a corner. She was telling me my truth and all I could do was agree with her. She was right on the money.

Things slowly changed from there, but I still remember that conversation. The idea that I (and so many others like me) are wasting time was not lost on me.

So, this is Day 1.

Last night, I set my alarm for 6a.m. and with a little help from the boyfriend, I managed to zombie crawl my way out of bed by 6:15a.m. It really is like a Band-Aid, but dammit if it doesn’t feel amazing to keep hitting snooze while curling up with a furry friend.

Breakfast was next and consisted of 1 egg, beans, rice, and a large glass of water. This may seem completely unimpressive to most people, but this little detail is huge for me. Most days I skip breakfast and a few hours later am starving- but am too busy to work.

This is what I have always told myself: “I don’t have enough time. I just don’t.”

Spoiler: I do, you do, and everyone does.

The rest of my morning consisted of feeding 2 cats, 1 dog, washing my face, and throwing on something comfy for work.

I was out the door by 7:20a.m.

With Marigold, our senior rescue pup in tow, I hit traffic but was unfazed.

I was able to stop for gas without rushing, panicking, and potentially spilling gasoline all over my car and myself. I was able to listen to a podcast about sleep (another thing that I claim to have no time for) and really listen. I was able to drive like a normal human being to work and not let myself become a speed demon just because I left late (and avoided potentially putting myself and others in danger).

I was able to BREATHE.

I got to work a little before 8a.m. and the office was still quiet. It was lovely. I made a mental list of the things I was grateful for this morning and it was all thanks to changing my habits:

  1. I got to spend actual time with my boyfriend before he left for work. I am usually still in bed when he leaves and only get a peck on the cheek or a quick hug before he runs out the door.
  2. I ate breakfast! (Again, this is huge for me)
  3. I was able to cuddle with our 2 cats; not just throw food in a bowl for them and split.
  4. I made the bed.
  5. Morning traffic (I know that no one is grateful for it, but I took it as a chance to be still and quiet before I moved on to #6)
  6. I listened to a podcast on sleep on my way to work and actually paid attention.
  7. I made coffee for the office.
  8. I was able to chat with the CEO before anyone showed up.
  9. I had zero anxiety on a phone call with a client because of #8.
  10. It’s 2p.m. and I get to go home!

And guess what? I plan to wake up even earlier tomorrow.

 —

AC

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